Added: Desire Verner - Date: 18.08.2021 10:36 - Views: 41222 - Clicks: 2910
I hate my name. My first name is Amber. Many people tell me that the name is fitting for me especially given that my hair is golden-red. However, I am not exactly a fan of the name. I mistakenly confided this vulnerable information with abuser M when we had first met and I now realize that he immediately seized the moment as a way to take control of me… through my name. That sounded rather nice to me over repeatedly hearing him call me the name that makes my ears ring.
And so he gave me the first pet-name that I acquired while under his control. He called me my new pet-name lovingly. I now see the contradiction as a simple oxymoron and one way of many for abuser M to take control of me mentally. Abuser M created a heart shaped pet tag encrusted with pretty pink swarovski crystals to display my new degrading pet-name for all to see. He attached the tag to a collar that he had obtained on Haight Street in San Francisco and gingerly clasped it on my neck. How original… but I grasped on to the degrading name because I wanted him to love me.
It is now horrifically sad for me to realize that I had prefered to be called slutpet over my birth name of Amber. After I embraced my first pet-name I knew that I would take on whatever name abuser M would give me. I now realize that abuser M further used pet-names as a form of control over myself. Eventually I was given a second pet-name by abuser M which ultimately became the pet-name that he would regularly call me in private. At this time I cannot quite remember how or even why he came up with this new pet-name but the name now gives me the shivers.
Of course abuser Submissive slave names called me cuntly as if it were Submissive slave names honor for Submissive slave names to wear his degrading name. C-ree to abuser M was a more publicly acceptable form of his favorite pet-name cuntly which he would rarely call me in public. I now see that abuser M realized his horrific treatment of Submissive slave names was rarely accepted in society… unless you are a member of the BDSM community where nearly anything flies.
Yet again, I am uncertain when abuser M began calling me this name but I do know why. He believed it was acceptable for him to call me Red in professional situations such as business meetings, events, etc. I even had a personalized address through his IT consulting business… red abuserM. Of course his slave, his pet had to also perform as a girlfriend and eventually fiance in public and professional situations. I absolutely dislike the pet-name red. After I told abuser M about loathing my birth name, there is only one instance that I can recall where he had called me Amber out loud in public.
The only time that he acknowledged who I really am by calling me by my name was in court where I had taken him at the end of our relationship to obtain a Domestic Violence Restraining Order. In the court in front of a female judge, he clearly called me Amber. On the bright side of all of this — because of the abuse that I endured I now have the opportunity to confidentially and legally change my full name to whatever my heart desires. I already have the name picked out but I want to sit with it for a while before I finalize my decision. It is quite exciting for me to take this opportunity, it will be a chance to renew my sense of self and to become who I want to become without any inhibitions.
I like to tell people that I am simply upgrading my name. I cannot wait for the day that I am able to accomplish this important step in my recovery. It gives me something to look forward to, almost as if I have a new future ahead of me. I will also blog about the BDSM lifestyle that I once lived while I was engaged in a very violent and abusive domestic relationship as an adult.
Please feel free Submissive slave names ask me questions if you have any. However, please do not get upset if I cannot or will not answer. This is all very personal and difficult information to discuss. Thank you for your understanding. March 4, at PM. I have just read this after reading you later post about your name. Oh dear. I have so much compassion for you in my heart. None of this belongs to you. None Submissive slave names these names are yours.
Like Liked by 1 person. April 7, at AM. I changed my legal name and now celebrate my birthday on the date of the legal change. My old birthday was always a really sad day full of disappointment and abuse. It felt liberating to choose my own name, cut ties and become my own person. Every year I celebrate with my friends. I wish you every happiness in your new phase of life. Like Like. August 11, at AM. August 12, at AM.
It took a great deal of courage for you to reveal all this. It spoke to my brokenness. You might want to check out the lyrics. Like Liked Submissive slave names 2 people. January 8, at AM. I know for a fact she had an abusive childhood and maybe this has something to do with that. I just try to make sure she controls the situation even though I am playing the dominant one. Right now it seems fun for both of us but I worry she may eventually regret it as you did. It sounds like you love your Submissive slave names a lot and want her to be pleased and satisfied.
I am reading that she desires for you to treat her like a pet and she enjoys it when you do. From what you are describing, it sounds like a consensual form of play which is healthy for a relationship. I felt trapped and I felt that I had to do as he wished. Many of the names he called me, he picked because he knew they disturbed me and he liked that. Your situation sounds much different, loving and healthy. It is important to keep open communication about this kind of play and to have clear set boundaries. You could even tell her your worries about the play and have an open dialogue about it.
Perhaps her desires are cultivated from childhood trauma. You are commenting using your WordPress. You are commenting using your Google. You are commenting using your Twitter. You are commenting using your Facebook. Notify me of new comments via. Notify me of new posts via. Address:. RSS - Posts. RSS - Comments. Create a free website or blog at WordPress.
Search for:. Trigger Alert I hate my Submissive slave names. Like this: Like Loading Author archive Author website. X Like Liked by 1 person. Hello Blaro, thank you for the comment. Leave a Reply Cancel reply comment here Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:. required Address never made public. Name required. Wise Words. March 8, Address: Follow. Loading Comments Required Name Required Website.
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